How to begin the process to live is in our own will - breathe, release, repeat. Sometimes reflecting on this process, I have ended up in a full-on ugly cry whether by myself or with dear friends, and this is how I end up living. But first, reluctant surrender.
There are factors in life that are universal truths for me - I love, I surrender to God’s will, I embrace others, I lose myself in their journey, I love myself enough to rescue myself and refocus. Basically, I cannot allow others to draw me so far into their reality that I neglect my own. I use all I have learned in His presence to create the balance that restores my peace. I renew my mind in the Word of God; I share the journey with others who love themselves enough to walk with me – separate but together – on our journey. We balance each other, we have peace in and around us and we are able to feel the presence of God. Only in His will is this version of the cycle of life manageable.
We are not immune from the struggle for life under the weight of our own decisions, both good and bad. A good decision is to separate ourselves from distractions and forces that pull us away from the work we are called to do. One variable that is inescapable is the pain of grief and we all grieve losses regardless of the form in which they manifest: a job, a promotion, a loved one. No one knows the end at the beginning and some of us think that the power of discernment is in more time spent on earth, when it has always been and will always be the life, sacrifice, death and resurrection of Jesus, and in the Holy Spirit God has given to us in our relationship with Jesus as comfort through prayer. Our sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving for His mercy when we don’t get it right. And His unfailing love and grace when we see Him as we look in the mirror, even when we get it wrong. This reminds us that He is here. There is no condemnation from God, our shame is in our unwillingness to surrender. I have fought it, we all have if we are honest with ourselves. We know we will have to surrender eventually, if we are going to make it into heaven. I have to love myself enough to surrender. I have watched loved ones battle diseases, their fight to stay alive has given me inspiration for my own journey. Their surrender at the very end felt beautiful. I grieve their absence from my life and celebrate their presence with the Lord.
“They replied, Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.” Acts 16:31
I can be stubborn. In my past stubbornness I have boldly rejected facts, and favored distorted truth presented under false pretenses. My internal compass of discernment hasn’t always been accurate. We are attempting to hide when we repeat our lies through a life lived in lies, or through the verbal repetitive lies we tell ourselves and others hoping that in time the repeated lies will replace the truth. I have had to intentionally release the strong holds of this world to regain the truth. I have fought the false pretenses and false humility that bother me to the core, especially when I notice it in myself. We feed our ego by trying to live the life of lies we tell when we know better, but we hold on to our decisions that threaten to break us away from the only real truth in favor of our decision. The ego is diabolical. The bottom line is this becomes a battle. It does not sit well within us. We know that we cannot win against God - our arms are indeed too short to ever win. The kicker is, He is not fighting us. He is giving us free will to fight ourselves. He is waiting on us to surrender.
Our decisions become the life that unfolds before us. We can seek the company of friends, family and loved ones on the journey to live. We can make hard, and difficult decisions that will demonstrate our trust in God and our love for His will over our lives. We can separate ourselves from negative forces even if they happen to be in the family and friends we love. Both things can be true at the same time, but one of the truths will help me to grow and the other is comfortable.
Some people were born into enormous wealth and comfort with seemingly little to no struggle. Others have struggled to make it to a comfortable life, and still there are others who have comfort and are so resistant to wisdom that they struggle in discomfort despite enormous favor. We all come to learn that we can love the fool, but we cannot spend our time with foolishness without becoming fools ourselves. Everybody won’t get saved, even though we all want them to be, they have to want it for themselves.
“God our Savior wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:3-4
Taking notice of all of this helps me to know I am in His will. When I feel like I am in the will of God, even the grass under my feet looks and feels different. When I am walking in my purpose, I have found myself considering the various foliage, and found it breath taking to crest a ridge and see a collection of tree tops. Have you ever actually watched the waves of the ocean? Have you seen the various greens and blues, and wondered in awe. Or recently, with thanksgiving, watched the sunset - in true gratefulness at the end of the day. Once I realized that fighting against the divine truths was killing me and the reality set in, all the colors appeared new to me, and I started living - inhale breath, exhale, repeat.
Proof of Life!
Beautiful! My favorite part “We all come to learn that we can love the fool, but we cannot spend our time with foolishness without becoming fools ourselves.” Amen!
Thank you for reading my post.